Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Hobbits eat well. And often. Remember Weathertop? Of course you do. Tomatoes? Nice crispy bacon? A brace of coneys? And don't even get me started on the deluxe DVD edition bonus scene with Samwise's special box of seasoned salt, which he was saving just in case they happened to roast a chicken en route to Mordor. Frodo laughed his smug little patrician laugh at Sam, BUT THAT KIND OF DEDICATION IS WHAT ULTIMATELY SAVED HIS SORRY ASS.
Ahem. So if you want to eat like a hobbit. Here's what you do:
Buy a cast-iron skillet. Seriously. This will change your life, and I'm pretty sure the hobbits used one. So, authenticity right? We cooked some locally-raised SAGE-PORK BREAKFAST SAUSAGES. But any kind of non-Italian sausage will do, I think. Also, cook them in BUTTER. You will of course season them with SALT and PEPPER, but also some SMOKED PAPRIKA, because as we've recently learned, you simply cannot go wrong. When they've cooked enough, add some MUSHROOMS and YELLOW ONIONS, preferably from Farmer Maggot's crop, because HOBBITS LIKE TO STEAL.
Meanwhile, why don't you mash some POTATOES? However you like to do this is fine by me. Tonight we used two big russet potatoes, with a tablespoon of BUTTER, a splash of HALF AND HALF, and some crumbled BLUE CHEESE.
An essential second side dish is so easy AN ORC COULD DO IT. Just take a couple of large, ripe TOMATOES. (we used some heirloom, ugli tomatoes). Cut out the top part, and slice in half horizontally. Then cover with more crumbled BLUE CHEESE, and stick them under the broiler until the cheese gets toasty.
"Even you couldn't say no to that." -- S. Gamgee